Post-Apocalyptic Olympic Sports

Post-Apocalyptic Olympic Sports

If 2012 is the end of humanity as we know it, there’s no reason we still can’t have the Olympics!

So what if you are staggering around like a zombie, carrying bludgeon tools like Woody Harrelson, or choking on radiation come 2014? You can still have all of the Olympic fun that you would have had had the world as we knew it remained as it was. All it takes is a little post-Apocalyptic creativity and some dystopian ingenuity and bam, you are good to go. You may not be able to keep the same sports as usual—the high jump, for example, could be hard to do over a puddle of radioactive goo—but you can make up new games based on the times just like the Greeks did centuries ago. Here are a few ideas to help you out.

Zombie Head Chop: Even though you might chop off zombie heads on a daily basis, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t still be sport worthy. Just use your favorite zombie trap to get a few of them together, then pile them into the arena and let them stumble around (or run supernaturally fast, depending on which filmmaker was right in his or her predictions) while you go after them with cool implements, from a scythe to a frying pan. If there are other survivors to get in on the sport, be sure to invite them as well.

Gas Siphon Relay: Since the gas stations are all out of fuel, you’ll have to become an expert at siphoning fuel out of other tanks to put in your vehicle (or simply using other vehicles quickly). Whether you have a mechanical trick up your sleeve or you just suck it out the old fashioned way, you must siphon the gas out much more quickly than other survivors to remain a survivor.

Breath Holding Challenge: If the air is full of noxious gas and fumes, you are probably used to wearing a gas mask all of the time. If so, this challenge is for you! See how long you can hold your breath without breathing in the ashen air and dying. If you’re a strong swimmer and used to holding your breath, you might not even die!

100 Meter Dash: There will always be an opportunity for you to keep running away from other survivors, whether they be zombies, military men who want to “procreate” with your last-female self, cannibalistic families who’ll harvest your organs, or whomever. Just keep running and you know you’ll ace this sport.